A Moment of Reflection

full-moon-and-street-lamp

Curiosity sent me on a quest.

I unlocked the door to my apartment and locked it again behind me, walked in, switched on the lights, took off my black sneakers and put on my house slippers. Removed my mobile phone, tissues, and a mini torch from my coat pocket and placed them on the glass table by the door. I smell the sweet and spicy aroma of the dinner I had prepared earlier; a curry stew with tan lentils, carrots and coriander, pan grilled plantains with side of steamed spinach.( I had debated with whether or not to eat first before leaving, but like I said my curiosity pulled me away.) I felt hungry, but first things first.

I walked through the living room to the master bedroom, switched on the bedside lamp, striped off my clothes, got into the shower and let the politely hot water run off the back of my neck. I stood there reflecting, thinking, wondering, calculating as the shower cubical began to fill up with steam. A moment to reflect, to meditate, to gain clarity – my evening’s quest was responsible for this mood. A few minutes after, I was scrubbed, rinsed, out into warm comfy clothes and headed to the kitchen.

My motto at the start off the year was ‘Embrace Adventure’. I saw myself outdoors doing fun activities. Traveling and seeing the world, meeting new people from all walks of life, tasting new food, learn new things, living it up and loud. But by September I had not done any of it, however I had been on an adventure all the same; not the one I thought I’d be on but one I needed – on an adventure into and towards myself. I have never spent so much time with myself, for myself, thinking about myself, knowing myself, feeling being myself, enjoying myself, taking great care of myself, liking myself, cooking for myself, like I have these last ten months – a remarkable journey.

On this journey my outlook on life has changed. I have passed through a rite of passage from being just an adult to a mature adult; into a world where other people and their drama becomes mute – you see it but you don’t take it in. This is best illustrated by the TV advert for foam mattresses that splits down the middle and are less likely to relay vibrations when someone shifts positions. To test the mattress, two people jump up and down on it on one end and a glass of wine is placed on the other. The glass remains still, not a drop of wine pours out. I have become that glass of wine.

My own individuality has become clearer. My happiness and personal well-being has become a priority. I look at younger people and instead of envying them, I wish they knew how fabulous it is to be your own person, secure, centered and connected to a bigger purpose – of course having learned through lots of mistakes. Failures and mistakes are no longer life threatening, but an essential part of it – like soap is to washing.

Earlier in the evening I had scum to my curiosity after reading and listening to the news and excitement about the supermoon. Nasa.gov had this to say about it:

The moon is a familiar sight in our sky, brightening dark nights and reminding us of space exploration, past and present. But the upcoming supermoon — on Monday, Nov. 14 — will be especially “super” because it’s the closest full moon to Earth since 1948. We won’t see another supermoon like this until 2034.

The moon’s orbit around Earth is slightly elliptical so sometimes it is closer and sometimes it’s farther away. When the moon is full as it makes its closest pass to Earth it is known as a supermoon. At perigee — the point at which the moon is closest to Earth — the moon can be as much as 14 percent closer to Earth than at apogee, when the moon is farthest from our planet. The full moon appears that much larger in diameter and because it is larger shines 30 percent more moonlight onto the Earth.

Therefore as soon as the sun set I got ready and went outside hoping to catch a glimpse of the supermoon. Looking up into the sky as soon as I was out in the open, but I could not spot it immediately. I zipped up my coat as I began to feel the cool evening air, walked further, searching and searching. I walked out the gate into the street, stood by a street lamp and right above it was the moon. A beautiful sight indeed, just as described; big, bright, details of its topography visible, it felt so close as if one could touch it.

I stood there and watched it, attracting a few curious looks from a few people rushing by about their own business. I took a moment to reflect about life in general, then my life, nature’s wonder and providence. I looked at my watch, 7:48pm.  I had been there long enough. I dug my hands back into the coat’s pockets, and began walking back.

“A hot shower and dinner would be nice about now.”I thought as I climbed the stairs to my apartment door.

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2 thoughts on “A Moment of Reflection

  1. Pauline you are right to say that “My happiness and personal well being has become a priority” Happiness brings wellness in our bodies. Happiness is not got from outside yourself. It comes from within a person. Neither is based on circumstances or wealth. Happiness is purely a personal choice. You have made the right choice.
    I should make the same choice too.

    Pastor Eunice

    Liked by 1 person

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